Frog Is Just a Four Letter Word
by boxfish
Summary: Long story short- A frog gets harassed. And then it gets shoved down Light's pants. Poor frog...


**A/N: Light is just Light, no Kira. ^^**

**And I apologize in advance if L doesn't make sense when he talks in Serbian- I used Google Translate. -.-**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note, or Google Translate. Or, a frog, for that matter.**

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"What am I doing here?"

"I decided that we were doing too much work, and suggested that we take a walk by the lake, remember?" Light replied, enjoying the feel of the sun against his face. It was marvelous to get outside- ever since he had joined the hunt for Kira, he'd been completely immersed in work. And it was nice to get a break from Ryuzaki badgering him about Kira. If he hadn't been chained to the detective, Light would've spent all his free time outside, _away_ from all the accusations of being Kira. _L_ on the other hand, preferred to lurk in the shadows, as if the sunlight would burn him. Really, Light thought as he looked the other over, L needed to get out more.

"Hmmmm," Ryuzaki hummed thoughtfully, before brightening as he snatched up a passing toad that happened to by hopping about near the shore of the lake. "Huh. This must be what is known as a frog..." he exclaimed, inspecting the poor amphibian, who croaked it's dismay.

"Ryuzaki! Put the frog down, you're scaring it!" Light cried empathetically, rushing over and frowning disapprovingly. The poor thing looked _terrified_.

"In a minute, Light- Kun." L rotated the frog in his hands. "You know," he mused, "I've never seen an actual frog before."

Light looked at him, eyes wide. "You mean, you've been alive for _twenty four years_, and you've never seen a frog before?"

"Nope," L replied, cheerfully, "I've never had the time, nor the motivation." He poked at the frog's stomach, before squishing it experimentally, multiple times.

Light watched, in half amusement, half horror as the polliwog thrust it's tongue out with each _squish._

After the fifth time however, Light finally decided that he felt sorry for the croaker. "Stop it!"_ he_ ordered, trying to smack the frog out of its tormenters hands.

L shrugged nonchalantly, moving the frog out of reach, before flashing a brief smile at Light. "Make me," he challenged playfully, still pressing on the jumper.

Light quickly wound the handcuff chain around his arm several times, before grasping it, and yanking it in such a way that the frog was jerked out of the detective's hands.

Ignoring Light's warning cries, L dove for the amphibian, missed it, and dived again, Light being helplessly dragged along. Many people were staring at them, Light noticed vaguely, but he found the the looks of surprise and disbelief on their faces rather amusing, whereas before he'd be thoroughly humiliated, not to mention annoyed.

Ryuzaki finally had the bullfrog grasped in his hands after a lucky leap, and was holding the frog up in the air, not unlike a triumphant one would hold a newly won trophy.

Light sighed. This was not how he was expecting their trip to the lake to go.

"I wonder..." L muttered, bringing the croaker closer and closer to his face.

At the last second, Light realized what was going to happen and in panic, yelled, "Ryuzaki, no!"

But it was too late. L crudely stuffed the small frog in his mouth, curiously tilting his head to the side as he chewed.

"Spit- it- out!" Light shouted, pounding on L's back with each word.

They were making a scene. People gathered around them from all the commotion, speculating over whether they should interfere or not.

Ryuzaki finally coughed up the frog, glowering at Light as he did so.

"I was _joking_, Light- Kun." L said sourly, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

"I think you should stay away from small animals," Light murmured, frowning at the other.

L feigned hurt, clutching the soaked, but very much alive, frog close to his heart. "I am an animal lover, Light- Kun."

"Excuse me," A women in her 40's tapped Light on the shoulder. Two little girls, presumably her daughters, hid shyly behind her back. "Is your friend OK?"

"Huh?" said Light, whirling around, "Oh, yeah. It's fine. He's usually like this." Behind him, L was making small cooing noises at the frog, supposedly to demonstrate his love for animals.

"Is he from-" she lowered her voice into a whisper, "- a mental institution?" Her voice twisted into disgust at the end of the sentence.

"These ears enable me to hear, you know," L informed her, not batting an eye.

Just when she opened her mouth to reply, one of the little girls hidden behind her back stepped out and pointed out the pair of handcuffs connecting the two of them. "Is he your boyfriend?" she questioned Light, perplexed.

"Um, well-"

"Yes, I am," confirmed L, cutting Light off.

"_What?_" Light felt his heart skip a beat. He gaped at the detective. "Since _when?_"

Ryuzaki blinked at him, confused. "You do not consider me your friend, Light- Kun?" he asked, pain and puzzlement flickering momentarily through his eyes.

Light immediately felt guilty. "Well, yeah, of course I do!" he said, trying to make up for his earlier mistake.

"Well then?" said L, "I don't see the problem. We are both males, and we are friends. What is so complicated?"

Light nearly collapsed with relief, though a tiny part of him was almost... Disappointed? No! He shook away the thought immediately. "Ryuzaki, she meant if we're, um, _romantically_ involved. Not friendship," he explained.

"... I see. Then the answer is no, I'm afraid." He paused. "Unless Light- Kun would like to-"

"RYUZAKI!" Light squawked.

"That's very _rude_, young man, not to mention inappropriate!" the woman hissed, shaking her finger at him.

L looked at her, as if seeing the woman for the first time. "I say," he said, "you have a wonderfully pyknic body structure." He looked at her expectantly, awaiting her response.

"Oh... Well, thank you, I guess," she said hesitantly, bewildered at the sudden change of subject, and the word "pyknic".

Ryuzaki smiled at her slightly before adding, "Ја бих вам препоручујем да користите свој мозак да се спали калорије ако тражите да изгубе тежину. У просеку, горим-"

"Ooooh- kaaay then! We'll be going, uh, miss." Light laughed nervously before pulling Ryuzaki elsewhere. When they were a good distance away from the mother, he turned on the raven- haired detective, scowling.

"Your eyebrow is pointing up at me, Light- Kun." L observed innocently.

"You called that lady fat!" Light yelled at him in a hushed whisper, "And what did you say to her? You said something- in another language-"

"Oh, Light- Kun." L slouched away from him, starting back to the Task Force Headquarters. "I didn't call her fat. I... _im__plied it._ Furthermore, what's wrong with being a little chubby? I fail to see any issue with-"

Light groaned, interrupting L. "Just... Promise me you won't insult another lady again, ok? At least, not today." He smoothed down his shirt obsessively.

L's thumb gently caressed his lip, considering. "Alright. Not today."

They had not gone ten meters when L turned suddenly and faced Light, shoving him into an abandoned alley and into a wall, a look of insane intensity in his eyes. "Light- Kun," he breathed.

"Y-yes?" Light was scared- he'd never seen that look in L's eyes.

Ryuzaki stared at him for a spell, calculating, his eyes narrowing slightly. "Do you recall what I said, before? About us being involved romantically?" L whispered. One of his hands traveled to the waistband of Light's pants, lingering there, the other had pinned one of Light's hands to the wall.

Light could feel every motion, every touch- it was like his brain was going into hyperdrive, he was suddenly aware of everything around him- everything except L. Though throughout all this, he wondered, _why he wasn't doing anything to stop L._

"Y-yea? W-what about it?" Light stammered, blushing furiously, voice hitching, mentally cursing himself. The detective's hand gently slipped in his denims, tugging at his boxers, while the other hand released Light's, and drifted at the opposite side of his waist.

L smiled coyly, seductively. "Oh... Nothing." And he quickly slipped his other hand into Light's boxers, depositing something wet and slimy before withdrawing his hands completely, and beaming up at him.

It was then and there, that Light realized that L had not let go of the frog from the lake.

He cried out at the uncomfortable sensation and jammed his hands in his boxers- the frog was jumping around on him _in that area!_ "Ryuzakiiiiiii!" he whined, and to his astonishment, he actually heard L laughing.

_Laughing!_ That devious, deceitful, double- dealing, misleading, arrogant little blockhead!

"I-II Hah-hhhhhaate-"

"No you don't," L said easily, grinning, and strolling away, as well as forcing Light to.

Light squirmed, finally managing to get the intruder out of his lower parts after four, _torturous minutes,_ and followed L out of the alley, grumbling obscenities at Ryuzaki.

"It couldn't have been _that_ bad, Light- Kun." L insisted, the amusement unconcealed in his eyes. "Frog is just a four letter word, after all." Ryuzaki reached out to patt Light on his head consolingly.

Light instinctively ducked away, but he couldn't help the small grin that had crept onto his face.

He wasn't Kira. Light was sure of it. And when Light proved Ryuzaki wrong, there was not a doubt in his mind that he would strive to work with the detective to solve the toughest cases that were offered to them. And they'd be friends- nothing would get in the way of their friendship, Light would make sure of it.

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**A/N: Ah, the ending kinda sucked- I know -.-**

**So, what do you think? Good, bad, in- the- middle? Any improvements I could make? Let me know, please! ^^**

**ALSO, this sort of relates to Me Again, chapter two; Light and L speak briefly of it.**


End file.
